An Unhelpful Redemption

I think of you.

I am standing in my bedroom, my sanctuary, alone. I support my fragile frame against the door.

You are not here.
You never will be, again.

A feeling encloses me.

From the back of my thin head, water rushes, crashing and brushing against each hair.
It encircles,
my head,
my mind,
my thoughts.

I am paralysed sitting on the side of my bed.

This blinding pain swallows me from my core.
It heaves and shakes in my heart.
My soul collapses from the pressure.

A tremble of my eyelids, and shut. Whatever troubles the world has to offer me I cannot bear.

An impression of your face in my mind causes my center to swell, then flood.

Each tear, a membrane for an emotion.

I grab my pillow to hold and to love, treating it as if I were you. Squeeze my hand to remember the touch. Cringe in pain at how much your departure has ruined me.

I love you, I miss you, I need you.

A Beautiful Honesty

If the earth's roses were painted into the soft caress of a cloud's silver lining,

If a smile of innocence gracing a newborn's face could be transcribed onto the frowns of humanity,

If the world could care for a lost soul by removing any shards of a broken heart,

If love could be bottled into its purest white gold form to share amongst those who are looking for themselves,

People would finally understand how important you are to me.

But where are you know, just where are you?